I know I have always been an innocent believer and I have been called naive and unrealistic.
Today I am so grateful that in my core I never let go of this innocence. Because eventually this innocence was exactly what let me find the pathway into the truth of what we all are.
Through my innocence I have come to know freedom beyond any limitation.
I have come to know peace beyond any circumstance.
I have come to know endless bliss residing within.
I have come to know eternal love – unattached to anyone or anything.
About six months ago, in May of this year, I live-streamed a retreat by Bentinho Massaro. It was the first time I got that enlightenment/self realization is like “a real thing” ?. I knew the stories about enlightenment but somehow it never entered my consciousness that these are not just stories but that enlightenment is something that can actually be attained in this lifetime.
It was only then – in that retreat – that I came to realize we can be completely free and utterly true. In fact we always have been. I started grasping that it is possible to realize complete freedom in this lifetime and to end all suffering while still residing in this world.
And if it hadn’t been for my innocence I would probably have discarded this possibility right away. It just seems so “unrealistic” and so different from what we came to know life to be.
All I know is that I had this immediate knowing in my heart that this must be true some how. Life cannot end with suffering. This cannot be the whole story. There must be more to life than 9-5 jobs, relationships that kind of work (but are not really fulfilling), the constant fear of not being good enough somehow…
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING MIRACULOUS AT THE BOTTOM OF ALL OF THIS.
I’ve experienced several of these moments of great relieve and knowing in my life. Moments that let me somehow grasp that there is more to life than just that which meets the eye. There are hidden universes, there are deeper levels of consciousness, there is a mysterious intelligence at work – always.
AND THERE IS ULTIMATELY NOTHING TO FEAR. ULTIMATELY EVERYTHING IS WELL AND PERFECT.
Somehow this knowing was on some level able to outshine everything else I have come to learn about life. Maybe you can sense it as well with your innocent heart.
After finishing the retreat in May, my whole life shifted. Even though I still did not really feel like I knew what I was doing…
During the 5 days of the retreat I tried really hard to apply everything Bentinho was teaching. And even though it just felt really frustrating in the beginning and like I was not getting anything at all, my life was turned upside down in the most magnificent ways.
I would experience states of being with the complete absence of fear. I suddenly had access to this all embracing inner faith and my life started flowing with the most miraculous synchronicities awaiting me.
I would like to add at this point, that I had been on the “Empowerment path” for about 10 years up to that point. So I knew my manifestation techniques very well – but was nevertheless blown away by the upgrade and acceleration that I was receiving in the weeks after the retreat.
After some time had passed I innocently started asking myself “SO IF THESE ARE THE RESULTS OF BEING FRUSTRATED WITH THE TEACHINGS FOR FIVE DAYS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I IMMERSED MYSELF IN THEM FULLY?”
What would happen if I dived in completely? If I for instance moved to Sedona for a couple of months with only one intention: To realize the true self and let go of everything false about me and life in general?
What if I surrendered completely to this inner knowing that there must be something more? Something beyond the known?
What if I took a leap of faith and trusted my gut? What if I faced and let go of everything I feared?
WHAT IF I MADE FREEDOM MY HIGHEST DESIRE?
What if I embrace that innocence fully once again?
What if I had no idea how it is done but did it anyway?
What if all my lack beliefs were telling me this is a little insane and maybe I was not good enough/evolved enough for this path – and I just went for it anyway?
What if this was why I was here in the first place?
If I know something to be true it is this: YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR DESIRES!
No matter what these desires are. Maybe they are completely different from mine. Just know that you are worthy of what you feel in your heart to be true.
And you do not necessarily need to know how it is done or “achieved”. All you need to do is surrender to this knowingness. This knowingness of you being worthy of what your desire.
Meet them with faith instead of skepticism. Meet them with innocence instead of close mindedness. Meet them. See them. Honor them. Open yourself up to them completely.
If anything it was faith (in my desires) that has allowed me to enter into the infinity of this universe and beyond. Faith has opened up possibilities and gateways like no other “tool”.
I BELIEVE IT IS TIME TO HAVE FAITH AGAIN.
Especially now – when maybe looking into the world will give you the impression that faith should be the last thing to be cultivated. I say do it anyway.
The struggle is hardest just before the break through. The night is darkest just before the light starts bursting through.
Sedona had me face all my lack beliefs and all my attachments. Basically all my shit (man, and I thought I’ve worked through the majority of it already ??) was right there in my face. It was like moving through perfectly arranged challenges every day.
Let’s just put it like this: The road of Self Realization is not just a blissful ride. You have to face everything that stands in between you and YOU.
Sedona has been the perfect container for this transformation of mine. Here everything is being amped up. If you just step away one inch from your truth/alignment the amount of suffering you experience is incredible. It is like you are becoming super sensitive to just the slightest amount of falsity/lack/… And where maybe before a certain thought wouldn’t even be registered it would now make me suffer big time. Curse and BLESSING. But mostly a blessing if your intention is to wake up. Basically a friendly and accelerating welcome gift by Sedona to just let it all go – everything that is not aligned with the truth of who you are any more. Just let it go NOW.
Being exposed to Bentinhos essence and teachnings on top of that was another crucial part in the journey of my awakening. If you want to wake up and be free – rather yesterday than in another lifetime – expose yourself to high level teachings. And just apply them. Just show up and do the work. It is as simple as that. Follow the instructions until you don’t need them anymore. ?
In the light of the One that we are I want to thank you, Bentinho, from the bottom of my heart for your service and love for this planets awakening. Allowing yourself to be misunderstood by many for the sake of providing pathways to truth that are so potent is a gift I cherish deep within my beingness. You offer a pathway that let’s us cut through the layers of crap so quickly. It is epic! If you had told me 6 months ago it would be possible to be waking up to the truth in such a “short time” I would probably not have believed you. But thankfully I went for it anyway.
The third ingredient to this exceptionally journey I have been through in Sedona is community. Being held and seen by so many of you was a truly powerful and extraordinary experience. Environment/Community is key! Choose your Cult wisely ?! For you always belong to a Cult – so just make sure yours is uplifting and aligned with your intentions.
To have a container that allows you to dive deep and be constantly reminded of what is true and what is not is so important – if not the most important piece. We fool ourselves if we think we can do this by ourselves. Being in a community of people devoted for and foremost to your growth and awakening is probably the greatest gift you can receive on your journey. Allowing yourself to be fully open in such a space will build up a momentum that in a way does “the work” for you (meaning you cannot escape the growth). Where alone you would be struggling, in community it becomes suddenly so much more effortless. This does not mean the challenges disappear but you will be moving through them much more quickly and gracefully.
I love all of you who have been and will be with me on this journey. Close and far. Thank your for every interaction that happened and that didn’t happen. For being there and for leaving. We are all serving each other. And no matter what something seemingly looks like on the surface I know it is all coming from and dissolving back into love. For Love is all there is.
I feel all of you so strongly in my heart. We are one. It is so obvious now. I will never be able to forget about that.
Right now I have no idea how this post started and where exactly I was going with it. But it feels like I expressed everything I wanted to share at this point.
My time in Sedona that came to a close yesterday feels truly like a blessing and a divine orchestration in every way. It feels like several lifetimes have passed instead of just a few months. It feels like I could be writing several books about it or just say nothing at all. Because no words could ever capture the beauty and perfection I found to be true.
I love you more than ever.
I am you.
We are one.
We got this.
This is just the beginning.